gracious thanks go toward how time has rolled by for me, and in my third month I have seen a third new country. intense focus went toward the completion of my deadlines this term, one of which reached 10,000 words of my future and its plans.

a tough focus – no matter how much time i spend deliberating my own progression and thinking i can organise the movement of things, it gets infinitely more complicated, and time presents ever-more hurdles

nonetheless, i am achieving things at the best rate i can, and surely trying terribly hard for it. hence, i have earnt two weeks of relaxation. driving from London to Southern Spain in March is not quite the brilliantly warm holiday experience everyone described when i was growing up, but i am enjoying it completely; the change of terrain, and architecture, smells in the air and views to be seen, it’s perfect. and when the sun does grace me with its light, i bask and enjoy it dearly 🙂

next month things line up for more considerable recording and development of my work. my good friend won’t be returning for a few months more than i expected, and it will pain me to be working without him. we shall persevere.

now it is that brief moment where i look to recalling the habits of good influence, breathe and study lands beautifully unfamiliar to me. i am stretching each day, trying to walk new streets away from the tourist nonsense of my own countrymen and into more peaceful quirkiness of this place. and i’m eating well and often, with plenty sleep to work with it. as usual i found myself in teetering health, and now give thanks for this time in such a favourable climate for rest and recovery.

—————– so

here now i look for inspiration, understanding, and balance. seeking more deliberate control over my emotions and impulses. one must find power over their mind, and make their energetic movement intentional. one must not allow themselves to fall deep into darkening energy states, allowing ignorance to take over our intuitive notions to harness our raw energy and light.

breathe, and contemplate this light; still, clean, pure water.

i find myself wondering, for days and days, why do i make art?

why do i make music?

what is this all for?

what am i trying to say?

why does this matter?

yes, yes, i know it matters

but why?

i shall find out 🙂